Samuel L Jackson Is God

…or at least the voice of God, on an upcoming Bible audio book:

Jackson was given the lead role because producers felt his deep, authorative voice was perfect for the role of God.

The audio book will feature the voices of a number of other black celebrities also – I assume they’re trying to appeal to a new audience by using black celebrities… whether it’ll work remains to be seen. I would’ve thought James Earl Jones would’ve been a better choice for the voice of God (does that make him the Metatron?).

I can just hear Jackson now: “Thou Shalt Not Kill, Muthafucka!”

And speaking of Samuel L Jackson, Snakes On A Mothafuckin Plane.

CD Copy Protection and Music Lawsuits

Another effort to curb music piracy, Sony has released “over 10 titles” using a new copy protection scheme known as sterile burning. This scheme lets you make a certain amount of copies, but not copies of copies.

You’d think they’d learn, but nope. Unfortunately, companies like Sony haven’t quite grasped the concept that no matter how hard they try, they will never come up with a completely solid copy protection system. Hell, the last attempts at copy protection were broken by things as simple as a marker pen, or via software written years beforehand! Build a better mousetrap, and nature builds a better mouse, as the saying goes.

The music industry needs to change their focus if they’re gonna survive in this new age of the Internet, broadband, and instant availability of music online. Instead of trying to deal with people pirating their CDs, they should be embracing the new, highly efficient and cost-effective distribution medium that is the Internet. Yahoo! have launched their music subscription service for US$4.99 a month for unlimited legal downloads of music. This sort of direction is where it should be heading, not trying to hold onto legacy technology like the CD. All the money they’re spending developing copy protection systems for their CDs could instead be invested in creating a decent system online for providing their music to the masses. Think about it – no CD production costs, no shipping around the world costs, and instant worldwide delivery. The savings they’d make would mean extra income for them from the music, and, heaven forbid, maybe even extra money for the people that actually made the music! (Although, to be honest, I can’t see that happening unfortunately. But that’s a whole other rant).

The Yahoo! subscription service (ironically enough, “Brought to you by Sony”, as the main page claims) also changes things slightly for those lawsuits against music pirates. You could now argue that the maximum damages they could seek from someone downloading songs is US$4.99, because they couldve got all that music legally via Yahoo!’s service for that price. Whether that argument would stand up in court is beyond my legal expertise, but it is an interesting point.

But in the end, regardless of what steps the industry takes, whether it be pursuing more copy protection methods or of moving to online distribution (and copy protection via DRM and similar technologies) there will always be piracy. Because if you can listen to the music, you can record it. In the most basic sense, stick a microphone next to the speaker and pirate to your heart’s content. The only way to stop this would make the music un-listenable.

And that would be the death of music.

Musical Butchery

So Nelly’s latest single, N Dey Say (don’t get me started on the complete retardedness of the name…) takes samples from a classic 80s track, Spandau Ballet – True. And it sounds like crap. True is an absolute classic and shouldn’t be messed with like this! The trend at the moment seems to be remakes of old classics or using parts of them as samples in tracks. Has the music industry got to the stage where there’s nothing new that anyone can come up with, so people have to resort to remakes? I mean come on, there is a virtual limitless amount of songs that can be created – why the sudden influx of remakes? Don’t get me wrong, there are some good covers out there, namely:

• Nonpoint – In The Air Tonight – originally by Phil Collins
• The Ataris – Boys Of Summer – originally by Don Henley via Rod Stewart, DJ Sammy…
• Goldfinger – 99 Red Balloons – originally by Nena

..but there are also a lot of bad covers around, like:

• All Saints – Under The Bridge – originally by Red Hot Chili Peppers
• Jessica Simpson – Angels – originally by Robbie Williams
• and of course the aforementioned Nelly – N Dey Say.

There should be a law against musical butchery like this. Personally, if I owned the rights to a song and somebody wanted to remake it, I wouldn’t sign off on it until I’d heard the new version and okayed it. If everyone did that, then the abominations they call music I mentioned above wouldn’t exist. And the world would be a happier place.

Agree? Disagree? Think I’m an angry old man? Tell me! Oh, and also let me know of any other covers you think are great (or are crap, for that matter).

Welch Leaves Korn For Jesus

From the “News You Never Expected To Hear” file: A founding member of the heavy metal band Korn is leaving the group after becoming a Christian. A statement on the band’s Web site says guitarist Brian Welch “has chosen Jesus Christ as his savior, and will be dedicating his musical pursuits to that end.”

And fair enough. I have absolutely no problem with him becoming Christian and all that. I’m not Christian myself, but that’s not at all relevant. It’s just news you’d not expect to hear, really.

The thing I find odd is that Welch felt he had to leave the band because of his new religion. Christianity is that limiting that he now can’t continue to play music in the band he helped found 13 years ago? Fair enough if he’s decided to move on because it’s not him anymore, but if his main motivation for doing so is that it conflicts with his religion, perhaps he should be looking at his choice of religion in relation to the lifestyle he wishes to lead.

I’m not one that lets my belief system run my life. My life, and my life experiences are what shape my belief system, not the other way around. This is one of the reasons why I don’t subscribe to any one religion. But in saying that, I don’t go up to people that do follow a specific religion and tell them “Hey, no, thats wrong.” Because who am I to say what’s right or wrong for them? I just wish the same were true for the flipside – those people that come knocking on your door and try and convert you to their religion. It almost seems that they’re so unsure of their own beliefs that they need other people to believe with them in order to reinforce their ideology.